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I have not blogged in a bit due to just some overwhelming things going on.  I have had a lot on my mind recently, and so I have not been able to express my feelings of good or bad altogether. 

So, a few things:
 - Please stop telling me that if you stop trying to get pregnant, it will happen.   - For some, who have no idea why they aren't getting pregnant, this is the case.  I have a good friend that this happened to, so yes, I know it's possible when you stop making it a job.  HOWEVER, I have a medical reason why I'm not pregnant, and we know what it is.  I am being treated for a condition that is treatable and manageable.  Yes, timing and stress has a lot to do with it, but it doesn't help me when you say, RELAX.  If you had a headache and someone just said stop thinking about it, does it cure itself?  Not usually.  You still have to take medicine.  Same thing here.  So please, stop telling me that.
 - Men doctors don't have any idea how to make a woman feel comfortable.  I am now on my 3rd, yes 3rd, male specialist in the last 6 months.  After my last experience with the specialist my OB sent me to, I was not pleased with his office.  I later had another negative experience with his nurse.  So, I finally went to someone I knew had a practice I could work with.  Brad and I met with him last week, and I definitely felt like I wasn't just a number and that he was truly in it for the health of me and my future baby, not the money or success rate.  I later had a FULL examination by this new doc, (Dr. G#2)  completely unexpected.  I thought I was going in for a sonogram for the beginning of my cycle - because PRAISE THE LORD I STARTED ON MY OWN! - and he went on to do a full exam on me.  I'm sorry, but Dr. G#2, you don't know how to make this easier.  Please let me keep the cover on while you're examining, you don't have to air my chest out like it's laundry.  (You do have to remember that I don't like male doctors.  And this was a prime example as to why I don't.  They don't know how it feels to be all out there and having some random guy poking and proding at you.  Ugh.)
 - When a doctor tells you the pain could be a little or a lot, plan for a lot.  I had my HSG test today (test to see if my tubes are open).  The pain level was said to be from a little to a lot, no way to tell beforehand.  Well, I was hoping for a little, and I sure got a lot.  So, maybe it would have been better if I had expected a lot and then it wasn't so bad.  Oh well.  Tubes are open, all is good, ready to move on.
 - A month without hormonal medicine is nice. I think Brad would agree.  I feel better.  I'm hoping my body kind of figures things out on it's own, but we'll see.  Dr. G#2 wants to keep me off meds this cycle to see how I do.  Prayers for follicles growing on Monday would be welcomed. 
 - In Brad's words, "For some reason that we don't know, we're not ready."  -    I have a wonderful husband.  As I was stressing about something, he gently just reminded me that I can think all I want about wanting a baby now, but you know what, God knows we're not ready for some reason.  So, maybe just hearing it so bluntly from Brad was good.  Now it's my job to work on being ready for God.
 - The housing market in Wylie sucks.  Let's hope it picks up when we put the house back on the market in a month or so.  I hate driving.
 - The cost of a happy husband is far more valuable than the cost of my happiness. - Brad likes being a cop.  I like Brad being a cop.  Especially because he's on a campus that doesn't have a lot going on.  But, Brad wants to be a real cop.  Not just a license plate light nazi.  So, I'm going to start dealing with the fact that he wants to go somewhere else.  But I'm okay with that, because I want him to be happy.  I can deal with it.  I may have some time to deal, maybe not.  But I'll deal.
 - Don't plan a vacation that is non-refundable when your husband is a rookie. - Sometimes it doesn't matter how early you ask off, because if someone higher on the schedule has off or can't work that same time, you don't get off.  So, we're paying for a trip that we don't get to take.  Lesson learned.  Pay more, or get trip insurance.
 - God speaks in every way. -I'm currently going through a study of Jonah in my girls' Bible Study.  I am loving it.  This study is perfect.  "The Life Interrupted".  It's amazing how the stories of Priscilla Shirer touch me and speak to me.  Thank you God for giving this to me right now.  I get it. 

That's about it.  Life moves on. 

 "Your ears will hear a word behind you, 'This is the way, walk in it,' whenever you turn to the right or to the left." Isaiah 30:21